My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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