If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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