thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
