your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
