Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
