I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
