Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
