Your tits are I can't wait for
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
