so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
