I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
