I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
