I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
