my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
