I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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