Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize