I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
