i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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