all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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