First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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