just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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