If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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