my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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