I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
