If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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