singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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