these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
