You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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