You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I believe in your delicious
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
