there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
