I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
