I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
