there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
