Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
