dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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