I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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