Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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