I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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