I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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