i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
