doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
