Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
