A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
