so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
