i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
