I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
