Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
