I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
