i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
