I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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