So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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