btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
