we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
