God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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