i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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