I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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