pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
