He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize