at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
