Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
