You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize