Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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