I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
