hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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