his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
