Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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