just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
