Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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