Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
