PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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