You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just cropdusted the office
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's shark week go big or go home
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
