LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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