billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
