Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
