Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
