She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
