They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
