How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
People in love make me want to vomit
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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