Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
